Friday, 23 August 2013


Im 15 now, almost three years until I leave my childhood behind and become and adult.

Adult; the word seems so foreign to me. You know, if you repeat the word a few dozen times, the meaning becomes lost and you begin to doubt its existence. That's how I feel about the Adulthood, though I don't have to repeat it a few dozen times to feel this way. Is there a thick glass wall standing between childhood and adulthood? And  if there is, does it simply shatter when you turn eighteen or do some people get stuck behind it? 

Yes, well frankly I'm scared. I'm not scared of growing up, or maturing. I fine with that. Im scared of the transition. The decisions that I'll be forced to make, the friendships I'll have to break and the life changing factors that may rule my life for ever once I get back my ATAR, or choose which course I'm going to do and where. Will I travel? Will I move out of home and where will I work? What will I become?

Its a bit early for me to be thinking about it and they tell me that when the time actually comes it won't be much of a big deal. Like when you were a 12 year old girl waiting to turn 13 so you could enter the teenage world. You thought that you would feel different. You thought that you would want to wear make up, and short skirts and talk about boys as soon as you blew out those candles. Yea those things happened, but they evolved. they didn't happen immediately. 

So that's it. I keep telling myself, it's just going to be like my 12th birthday all over again. I keep telling myself that its going to be a smooth transition. But it's not. Because I'm going to be older, a whole lot less naive, and that childish innocence wont be there to protect me.


  1. Woah, I never thought of it like that.. I can't wait until I turn 18 and I can move out and live the life I want.. But wow, this is deep! :)

    1. Haha yea in a way, I can't wait either but I guess the whole idea of being able to do what ever we want sort of scares me :p

    2. Yeah, I get that.. Like having the freedom to do whatever seems awesome, but then I guess that's when you have to decide what you want to do with your life.. Aha and I'm clueless!

  2. Exactly, and you have no boundries to guide you with those decisions. But I guess we would learn eventually :)