Adulthood

Im 15 now, almost three years until I leave my childhood behind and become and adult.

Adult; the word seems so foreign to me. You know, if you repeat the word a few dozen times, the meaning becomes lost and you begin to doubt its existence. That's how I feel about the Adulthood, though I don't have to repeat it a few dozen times to feel this way. Is there a thick glass wall standing between childhood and adulthood? And  if there is, does it simply shatter when you turn eighteen or do some people get stuck behind it? 

Yes, well frankly I'm scared. I'm not scared of growing up, or maturing. I fine with that. Im scared of the transition. The decisions that I'll be forced to make, the friendships I'll have to break and the life changing factors that may rule my life for ever once I get back my ATAR, or choose which course I'm going to do and where. Will I travel? Will I move out of home and where will I work? What will I become?

Its a bit early for me to be thinking about it and they tell me that when the time actually comes it won't be much of a big deal. Like when you were a 12 year old girl waiting to turn 13 so you could enter the teenage world. You thought that you would feel different. You thought that you would want to wear make up, and short skirts and talk about boys as soon as you blew out those candles. Yea those things happened, but they evolved. they didn't happen immediately. 

So that's it. I keep telling myself, it's just going to be like my 12th birthday all over again. I keep telling myself that its going to be a smooth transition. But it's not. Because I'm going to be older, a whole lot less naive, and that childish innocence wont be there to protect me.

OMG my first enlarged photo!!!!!!

Oh this week I had the opportunity to enlarge one of my photos and it turn out great. It was a really long and stressfull process where I exposed quite a few photographic paper but Im really happy with it :)

Curse Of the Blue Sari

Yes, the time has come for this little Lankan lady to wear a sari. Ugh! Yea, all you people look at all the lovely sequined sari's and think "oh! so beautiful!". But all my cousins back in Sri Lanka are looking at pictures of above-the-knee cocktail dresses shamelessly thinking "dayam, maybe I could just use my sari and make it into one of those things".

 I do bharatanatyam, a form of classical Indian dancing, and from as long as I could remember, I would just sit there like the naive little kid I was in my plain Salwar uniform and watch the senior girls dancing in their colourful sari uniforms. I yearned for the day that I would be given a neatly pressed Sari material. Once I was seen with one on, I would be considered a "big girl". It's a sort of coming of age thing I guess.

Anyway, a few months ago, my dance teacher brought back a nicely pressed blue Sari dance uniform from India and when she handed it to me, I held it as if it were made of glass. I held it lightly, as if it were something magical that withheld some unimaginable power. I held it as if this thin sheet of material was my right of passage to the "big girl world". I took it home and placed it very gently on top of my desk. And it sat there...for three months.

Last night was the first time I tried it on. The first thing I thought, five minutes into starting to pleat "OMG! how on earth am I supposed to do this!? The pleats at the front go in one direction the the pleats across your chest go in another, then you have to tuck the bloody damn thing into so many different places you look like your 5 months pregnant!

But hallelujah, After 2 hours of trying to figure the thing out, I did it! All by myself! No help what so ever! Dancing in it was a whole other issue though.

Nevertheless, I'm soooo proud of my self







Tooddleesss

SOooooo....I GOT A BLOG!

Yes everybody, I got a blog.

I keep a journal and stuff but, my hands get tired from holding a pencil. I mean, come on! I hold pencils enough as it is at school and stuff so I figured why not type stuff up instead!?

SO HERE IT IS. 

This may be like the other fifty times I tried keeping track of my life or it may be the start of a new and wonderful relationship with my computer where we have evening typing sessions every single day over a tuna sandwich. Or it could be a scandalous one night affair thing but I don't care. 

SOOOOO, IM SUCH A NOOOB.

How do I do stuff on here??